Zag Talk

It’s been quite sometime since I posted some of the weird keywords that people search and end up on this blog. Part of the reason for this is that most of the traffic coming to this blog is thru search engines and going thru so many keywords is a chore now.

Anyway, I went thru the search phrases for the month of January and came up with the following weird phrases. I left out the girls/boys mobile number searches because they were just too many.

“online bra shopping karachi”
Why would anyone be searching for an online shop selling bras in Karachi? I mean if it’s a girl who wants privacy while buying her undergarments, there are shops in Karachi that do not allow men in so they can go there. I mean if they do buy bra online, they will have to get it delivered to their homes, right? And the delivery guy most probably knows what’s in there, plus he now knows the address of the buyer. Also, you never know who’s behind the online shop, so it could be some seedy webmaster, who will have the information such as buyer’s name/phone number/address, plus her sizes as well.

The only other explaination is that a guy wants to buy a bra……… if it’s for a significant other then okay, otherwise eewwwwwww…….

“pakistani girls for sale”
Hmmmm…… isn’t that the same as looking for prostitutes? Or he just wants to buy them and keep them??? This brings us to……..

“free girls on sale”
This guy goes a step further from the previous one. He not only wants to find girls on sale, but he doesn’t even wants to pay for them. Or maybe he is looking for FREE girls, that are on sale (discount). So in essence, he wants free girls, and then he also wants to get paid for taking those FREE girls!!! Go figure…

“rawalpindi fuck boys”
You really need to look on the internet for that? Just post your number on any website and you will get a line of boys who wants to do that thing

“0312 garls number”
After going thru the entire list of search phrases I’ve come to realize that people coming to this blog searching for girl’s phone numbers will probably fail a basic English spelling exam.

“2 number larkion k number”
This just can’t be explained in words

“8 girls no cup”
I have absolutely no idea what this dude was searching for?!!? Is this guy looking for 8 flat chested girls? If he is, why??? Or is he looking for a girl with a cup size of 8? Is there a cup size of 8? Or is he looking for 8 girls who are topless? Or is this simply just a query for a picture of 8 girls without any tea/coffee cup in the picture?????? So many questions….

“just bra pics”
Most of the time, people are usually looking for pics of what’s inside the bra. But people have to be different and this guy is no exception. He wants pics of just the bra, without the anything filling it

“tips for establishment a new hospital”
I would advise everyone to avoid a hospital that has been established by searching for tips on this blog. Trust me, it’s for your own good. Otherwise your xrays will be like those in one of the older posts where the xray glasses were used to look inside the clothes and not inside the body

“without clots in mens wallpapers”
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Popularity: 1% [?]

Disclaimer: This is a true story. Names have been changed in order to protect the identities of those involved

Ever the loyal Nokia user, I resisted the temptation that is called iPhone. I handled this temptation by focusing on the cons and never touching the damned phone with my hands. That all changed when I was in Dubai and while wasting time at one of the shops I picked up an iPhone 3GS. One swipe across the screen and I was sold. It was the classic hook, line and sinker. I immediately bought one for myself and it was the first time in my life that I was buying such an expensive cell phone.

Once I came back to Karachi I opened it up and started checking out the features and downloading apps like crazy. I stayed up late at night to set it up, transfer the contacts, setup my mail accounts, etc.

Next morning I took it out for a spin. I had to stop at Aga Khan University Hospital for a little while to talk to the lab in charge for a report. I parked my car and while walking towards the lab answered a call from a friend of mine.

Once I was inside I went up to the in-charge, discussed the report status & came out of the lab. As soon as I was out, I put my hand in my pocket to call someone and realized my brand new iPhone 3GS was gone. I panicked and looked in my other pocket. Everything else besides the phone was there. I immediately went back in and raised alarm. A guy in there gave me his cell phone to call my number and check if it rings, but alas, it had been turned off already. It hardly took a couple of minutes and my beloved phone was gone.

And I was back with my Nokia again.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Popularity: 12% [?]

Popularity: 6% [?]

“Cmon you guys, help me get my form back, one of you start rubbing it. You heard coach Kirsten, we have to find a partner or else go solo and I am tired of going solo!!!!”

Popularity: 6% [?]

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. Most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

9. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different

10. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander
Hearts – Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. – All invented by women.

18. Question – This is the only food that doesn’t spoil. What is this?

Ans. – Honey

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet.

24. Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word ‘assassination’ and ‘bump’.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Popularity: 6% [?]

After watching Pakistan beat NZ in the two T20 matches they played in Dubai, I am skipping the test matches for a moment and looking ahead, to the T20 world cup. As one of the commentators said during the match, you can go ahead and place your bet on Pakistan defending their world cup crown right now. However, this is Pakistan we are talking about. Even though we love and support our team, it will be foolish on our part to place a wager so early on a Pakistan team known for its unpredictability.

The team is mostly set but after the return of the ICL players we have enough pool of players to come up with some really crazy team combinations which might work in the crazy T20 format. Here are some that I would love to see in action.

Kamakazi Team:

Imran Nazir
Kamran Akmal
Umar Akmal
Shahid Afridi
Imran Farhat
Fawad Alam
Abdul Razzaq
Sohail Tanveer
Mohammad Amer
Umar Gul
Saeed Ajmal

This team will either destroy the opposition or will put in record for the worst collapse in T20 history. However, imagine the fireworks this team will provide if they click. Imran Nazir, Kamran Akmal, Shahid Afridi, Imran Farhat, Abdul Razzaq, Sohail Tanveer and Mohammad Amer all can hit the ball out of the park, while Umar Akmal and Fawad Alam can provide some semblance in case of collapse. The bowling attack is formidable as we have already seen in recent times.

The Pacers:

Imran Nazir
Kamran Akmal
Umar Akmal
Shahid Afridi
Abdul Razzaq
Rana Naveed
Sohail Tanveer
Mohammad Amer
Umar Gul
Mohammad Asif
Saeed Ajmal

This would be an interesting team combination. With only one specialist batsman in Umar Akmal, the all rounders/hitters will have to provide something for the bowlers who will then take over. The kind of firepower that 4 pacers, 2 mediums and 2 spinner will provide even a below par score can be defendable. Imagine the rotations of bowlers for 1-2 over spells to keep the batsmen from getting settled.

Probable Team:

Imran Nazir
Kamran Akmal
Umar Akmal
Shahid Afridi
Shoaib Malik
Fawad Alam
Abdul Razzaq
Mohammad Amer
Mohammed Asif / Sohail Tanveer
Umar Gul
Saeed Ajmal

This is going to be the team that will play in the world cup. It might be boring compared to the previous two, but it will probably be the one that will handle the pressure situations best.

Popularity: 5% [?]